If you told me 6 months ago that I would be spending my evenings tie dying clothing in a shower in the middle of a global pandemic, I would have looked at you like you were crazy – yet here we are.
This wasn’t how 2020 was supposed to go.
I was a creature of impeccable habit. I woke up at the same time, ate the same foods, worked the same job, wrote the same lists; I wore my militant discipline almost as a badge of honor, thwarting it over people to show them that you really could accomplish anything with the right amount of regulation and control.
2019 brought me the devastating loss of my father. We knew it was coming; there was no medical hope or miracle in the world that could have saved him. Before he passed, I was spiraling. My methodical means of coping were no longer an option when I was faced with something so utterly out of my control. I couldn’t craft a thoughtful list of how to save a life.
Some may argue that death shouldn’t bring you anything but sorrow and pain, but this pivotal moment in my life inspired me to break free from who I was before. If anything should motivate you to live your life (and I mean truly live it, not some imposter-of-an-existence that I was in), it should be the lesson that, as George Strait once said, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” Your life can get cut short in an instant, and I was not going to waste another moment of it not doing the things that brought me joy. I was going to travel, see the world, eat the food – anything and everything my dad would have wanted for me. Then the pandemic hit.
This wasn’t how 2020 was supposed to go.
I had grand plans for this year and in what felt like an instant, the world stopped. Work slowed, gyms closed, travel was not an option; then the depression and anxiety hit. I had just managed to start digging myself out of the deep hole I had been living in for the past couple of years with my renewed enthusiasm and zest for life, and here I was again; dangerously flirting with reuniting with it. I honestly didn’t even know what to do with myself, especially since I couldn’t even go back to my “normal” way of life. How does one plan their life anymore when there isn’t a plan? I didn’t have a handbook on how to navigate my life during a pandemic.
At the root of it all, I had to remember what I promised myself I would – life is short and I cannot spend my days wishing I had taken the leap to do the things that make me happy. I needed a creative outlet, and what started as an activity to keep me busy at home turned into what I can lovingly call a small business. If you hadn’t gathered earlier, I am a meticulous, almost-robotic (at times) person, so the idea of trying something that I am not already an expert at completely frightened me. But, for the first time in a long time, I was excited about something, and I needed to keep that positive momentum going for my mental health and survival. People don’t always like to admit this, but I will – I value the opinions of other people (yup, I DO care what people think of me), so the notion of sharing this new venture with my community was a huge change for me to take – but I did it, because if I hadn’t, I would have regretted it.
You may call it tie dying, but I call it tie dying for my life.
This wasn’t how 2020 was supposed to go.
But maybe –
This was exactly how 2020 was supposed to go.
You can find Allyson on Instagram at @upcycledstylefinds and on Etsy!
Allyson is a fabulous and fierce friend of Shari and Kendall. She went to WWU with them and is currently an active member of the Bellingham community. Allyson lives with her husband, Tyler, and precious pup, Luna. Kendall and Shari adore her because she is always quick with her wit and loving with her friends.
The Salty Exchange 