Introverts often get a bad reputation.
They are marketed as meak, quiet, boring, and unhappy people. Who wants to be friends with an introvert when you can hang out with a fun extrovert? Well, I suppose the answer is up to you!
I am very much an introvert. Specifically, I believe myself to be a social and thinking introvert. Always have been. Probably always will be. I prefer time alone to recharge and feed my soul. Big crowds can be overwhelming and make me feel very insecure. I don’t have a particularly “big” personality. I cannot (not even to save my life) charm a crowd of people. Attention paid to me of any kind makes me a bit uneasy. Ok, a lot uneasy. I am better off one on one. That’s me. And I am ok with it.
With all of that though, I am a lot of other things… more peppy things. I am a realist (which makes my optimism more authentic- in my opinion). I love getting to know people- just not all at once. Because I get to know people on a personal one-on-one level, I also remember a great deal about those individuals. I am self-reflective and take my time making decisions… which is a good thing for my family. Hence, my personal identification as a social and thinking introvert.
Taking ownership of this part of myself has taken some time. Hell, liking myself has taken way too much time. Being an introvert in college always made me feel… inadequate. Pair that with a very angsty and intense battle with depression and I WAS very much a stereotypical introvert. With the help of medicine and counseling, I was able to overcome a lot of the darker parts of introversion. Better than that, I was able to understand how my introversion can get in my own way and how to work on combating it. I don’t want to be so fearful of the world or closed off that I sabotage the important parts of my life.
I often feel the need to defend myself because of how I live out my introverted ways. For example, my husband loves to socialize. I can- to a point. I am happy to leave him at a party and go home to either watch a movie or go to sleep. People often misread this and assume I am pissed at them or him because he didn’t leave with me. Not the case, my friends. Another example? I dislike large social gatherings… even with friends! I prefer smaller group settings… but I will do both because I am not so introverted as to not appreciate socialization… especially in the time of this pandemic isolation. And a final example is that I am terrible at engaging in loud debate and banter. To this point, I am very capable of being loud and more “fun.” It’s just exhausting. AND depending on what we are talking about or where I am, I often feel shy about talking too much. Why waste my breath when I know I can’t possibly keep up with more boisterous friends? My silence isn’t a sign of disinterest or even lack of knowledge on the subject… I am just listening and (usually) enjoying myself! So be flattered when 6 months from now I remember what you said and chat with you about it.
To put it simply, I prefer a more mellow approach to life. Thus, it can be assumed that quarantine hasn’t been as challenging for me. You would be right. Being in quarantine has been hard on MANY levels but not really on my mental health and well-being. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss my friends- because I do. I hate that our families have had to cancel trips out here because I do love and want to see them. All it means is that being on my own during this time has really helped me to refocus, reflect, and plan for the future. As an introvert, these are all GOOD things- for me. So, my name is Kendall and I am your resident introvert at your service.
The Salty Exchange 