The irony of my blog this week was that it was supposed to be a reflection post about when my oldest brother moved his family to Ohio. I was going to write about how I have made the most out of visiting them and how I am finally at peace with having a chunk of my immediate family across the country. Fast forward, and now my other brother (I only have two brothers/siblings) is building a custom home in Tennessee which should be completed in early 2022 and I once again have to process my brother’s family moving out of Washington State and across the country. I’d like to say it isn’t as traumatizing as it was the first time but that would be a lie. Although I am not as shocked by the move… I am still sad.
There is no doubt in my mind that I have a warped view of what it means to be around family. What do I mean by that? I think living so close to family growing up gave me a false reality of what classifies “normal” proximity to relatives. For example, most people don’t share a driveway with their grandparents and have 95% of their Aunts and Uncles living in the same state as them. As an adult, I now realize this but nonetheless, it wasn’t my reality as a child. I always dreamed of having my kids grow up with their cousins, weekly family dinners, and my parent’s house being a revolving door for homemade food and hugs (essentially, resembling my childhood). I never thought my sweet little nieces and nephews would be so far away and that a trip or two a year would have to suffice to see their faces and help them remember who their “favorite” auntie is. Don’t even get me started on how much I fiercely miss the bear hugs that only my oldest brother can perfectly give. Or the belly laughs that come from reminiscing on childhood memories that are blown out of proportion with your siblings while sitting around the dinner table. FaceTime, Zoom, or Duo are NOT the same no matter how hard you try.
I am looking forward to trips to Nashville, potential family gatherings in the South, and for my brother to custom build his dream home for his family. It’s been an awesome process to witness my brother and sister-in-law work through all the exciting (and daunting) details of their new home. I love how excited they are to get to know their neighbors and their heart for the community and new hometown that they will now raise their family in. These are all admirable reasons to move and I cannot (and will not) fault them for that.
Ultimately nothing really prepares you for people (especially family) to leave your life in a proximity kind of way. However, I refuse to sugar coat it anymore than I already have. It sucks.
The Salty Exchange 