Shari’s Thoughts On Mother’s Day

This year is my first official Mother’s Day, as a stepmom. Somehow it doesn’t feel as real as it does for mothers who birthed their own kids. Before you think I am fishing for you to assure me that Mother’s Day counts for me too, thank you, I really do already know. However, I can’t help but feel a bit like an imposter on Mother’s Day. I love my stepkids fiercely and I am no-doubt a mother figure to them. Over the past year I have gone from the fun aunt (see my previous post here) to the most all-star stepmom I can be. I try to anticipate their needs, comfort them, provide for them, and ultimately LOVE on them. I’ve had a hard time admitting that I deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day though. Before all my friends @ me “Happy Mother’s Day” messages… I am aware ALL moms deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day. Paternal or not. 

However, the meaning of motherhood is something that isn’t lost on me. I would never downplay the physical process of birth that a woman has to go through to have a child. That is something I haven’t experienced yet. Thanks to all my mommy friends and sister-in-laws I know a significant amount of what it means to give birth. But I have to remind myself that the fact that I haven’t given birth, doesn’t make me any less of a mother. The word “Stepmom” has a negative connotation which makes me sad. In movies, the stepmoms are usually cruel, angry, and treat the children horribly. This couldn’t be further from the truth for me and my stepchildren. I do whatever I can to encourage, support, laugh, and have fun with them. They mean the world to me. On our wedding day, I gave special vows to the kids and I meant every single word I promised them (see image below).

I’m not looking for people to tell me Happy Mother’s Day. I already know I am a mom, a freaking amazing and loving stepmom. If you want to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day please do it by reaching out to all the mother figures in your life and tell them what a difference their presence in your life has made. That would be the greatest gift anyone could give me – spreading the love!

Years ago I wrote this caption on my Mother’s Day facebook post and it still rings true… 

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, stepmothers, foster mothers, aunts or sisters that are like mothers, godmothers, to all the ones that have lost mothers, who still want to be mothers, and those that have chosen not to be mothers. We think of you on Mother’s Day. We celebrate the love that you pour into those around you each and every day. Thank you and Happy Mother’s Day!

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