Hormones! Why do women have to deal with hormones? Especially around that special time of the month? It’s a rhetorical question; I am not really expecting an answer. But let me tell you… I am NOT a fan of being overly sensitive for several days out of the month. If you tell me I have too many dishes in the sink or that I haven’t been to the gym in a while I may want to simultaneously punch you and cry at the same time. Ahem. Can anyone else relate?
I’m saying this all as a typically even tempered, self-aware, and happy-go-lucky person. Yes, EVEN I HAVE MY MOMENTS!
In the last few months all of the above has happened to me. I have been super sensitive and triggered by almost everything my family said. I know, I know- not my finest hour but I learned a lot from it and remember clearly how I felt. I felt underappreciated, unseen, and unhappy. If this is what women feel like when they are depressed or anxious I can only imagine adding the pressures of being a mother, or dealing with pre/during/post-partum. Sigh. I have more respect for women (and myself) now than I ever have.
Although I’m not perfect, I am proud of myself for how I handled my emotions while my hormones performed their monthly circus act. Let’s get into that… I could feel the irritation from simple comments build up as I was making brunch from scratch. I could feel my resentment towards every, “I’m hungry, when is breakfast?” comment as I counted down the minutes it took for the pancakes to rise. I was tired; my body fighting against me with a slight headache growing and my Tylenol taking its sweet time to kick in. I fought the urge to say, “Make your own breakfast” or “I’m done, all I want to do is lay down and curl into the fetal position.” Instead I stood there in the kitchen and made a gourmet breakfast while everyone else played on their devices. I’m happy to announce that the brunch was served, bellies were full, and the Tylenol FINALLY took effect. I didn’t let my pain or emotions get the best of me. Until a simple, “The kitchen always has so many dishes in the sink,” comment sent me into a self destructive spiral internally. Externally, I only slightly defended the dishes by reminding them that the kitchen was spotless only an hour ago… had no one had apparently noticed it then?! My blood boiling, my eyes watering, and my hormones raging… I decided it was a great time to go to the garden and water the plants. This is where I am the most proud of myself from taking some distance from the issue. I acknowledged that I was overly sensitive. I planned a reasonable response to any future comments about the dishes (ahem, I will welcome that comment as an offer to help clean the dishes), and I felt myself relax. The hormones stopped spinning out of control and what seemed like a bubble of emotions finally popped. The rest of the day got easier and so did my ability to take comments in stride.
Why do I tell you that story? Well, I know it is relatable. I know we all have our moments where a simple comment, even a well intended comment, can be taken the wrong way and handled poorly just because our hormones are raging. It’s not fair that women have to deal with this so often. All of our efforts to be a good mom, a diligent wife, a thoughtful daughter, and caring sister or friend often feel unnoticed and unreciprocated. We have to realize that if something happened to us today… people will remember the collection of moments where we made them feel loved and special. They’ll remember those moments and how we made them feel long after we are gone. It’s easy to say, don’t let your hormones or emotions get the best of you. But it is true. Do your best to NOT let the emotional waves drown you. Acknowledge how you are feeling, give yourself some distance, and ask yourself, “Why is this hurting my feelings or making me sensitive?” Then work through it, let it go, and know you aren’t in this alone. Every woman is somewhere along the same path.
Lastly and most importantly, I want you to know that despite what you inherently tell yourself, you are SEEN, you are HEARD, and you are doing a DAMN GOOD JOB!
The Salty Exchange 