August 2021 – The Salty Exchange

Kendall: Questions I Hate That People Always Ask

August 30, 2021by thesaltyexchangeLeave a Comment

There are a series of life questions that people ALWAYS ask (myself included). It starts when we are three years old and a teacher or loved one asks, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Is it because it’s cute? Is it because our answer is indicative of who we may become? Either way, it begins this trend of pressuring us to always have a good answer on hand. Then, when you are older and have had a job, people are constantly asking you about your growth and opportunity within that… like, when did our jobs become our whole life?

And then- the love and kids question! People begin asking you about your dating life. If you want to get married, or when you are going to get married become the Christmas dinner topic of conversation. From there, it’s on to the kid question. Excuse me while I lock myself in a bathroom somewhere and sneak out. Oh- but wait! Then you get married and have a kid and people want to know about the second or third kid. At least now, you can just gulp down a glass of wine and smile.

Look, I get it. We ask each other these questions. I am SO guilty of it myself. I do try to not ask because I have realized that these questions are often filler questions and not intentional questions. Instead of asking a three year old what their favorite snack is these days, it’s more acceptable to wonder what their ambition is like. As if they really get that. But, ok. It’s easier to ask when your BFF is going to get married than to ask the question as to what their current life goals are.

Ok- let’s get real. Truth or dare? If you answered, “Truth,” then pay close attention. Why are these the questions you go to? If you answered, “Dare,” then please do the following: next time you are chatting with someone please ask a less obvious and filler filled question. Go deeper.

Shari: Family Reunited

August 30, 2021August 30, 2021by thesaltyexchangeLeave a Comment

I contemplated not sharing this story because it is so new and extremely personal. The irony of that sentence is that it goes against all the reasons we started The Salty Exchange. We started this blog to get personal, to be vulnerable, and to share stories in order to relate and connect with anyone who follows along. So here it goes… after 60 years apart, my mom reunited with her half brothers Joe and Eric in June (this year) and I met my uncles for the first time a few weeks ago.

It is a tragic and confusing story as to why Joe and Eric were sent into foster care. A story that doesn’t reflect well on my grandma (no matter which way you try to explain it) but we suspect it was the fact that she had a mixed and blended family which was a bit unprecedented at the time. Regardless, they were just little kids; my mom was 6 years old, Joe was 4, and Eric was only 2. My mom fiercely loved her brothers and one day while she was at school (or so her mother thought), the state workers came and picked up her brothers. They coaxed Joe away with the promise of food. My mom knew something was happening that day and skipped school to hide in the bushes, she cried watching her brothers get taken.

I will spare you from the details of what life was like for my mom. She had a rough childhood and there was never a moment when she didn’t think about her sweet little brothers. My grandma told her she was never allowed to talk about Joe and Eric. I know… too much to demand of a 6 year old but my mom was scared just enough to obey. My mom had two older half brothers and besides Joe and Eric she had another two younger half brothers. Six brothers in total.

Growing up my mom never kept secrets from us, I knew my entire life that I had six uncles (not four) and that Joe and Eric were out there somewhere. Their names would make it into my nightly prayers and I dreamed of meeting them someday. In 2019, my grandma passed away and a few months later I asked my mom if she was going to start the search for her brothers. She said she didn’t know where to begin and honestly thought maybe they didn’t want to be found.

Fast forward to this Spring 2021… My aunt was calling old adoption agencies and around the same time my mom saw an ad on Facebook called People Whiz. My mom typed in her brother’s birth name and birth date (yes, that is how much they meant to her that after 60 years she still remembered these details). Sure enough Joe’s name popped up and connected to it was Eric’s name and details. My mom quickly realized that they still lived in the same state, they still had their birth names, and Eric had kids. My aunt and mom joined forces and the plan to contact them began.

They eventually found out that my uncles are ‘mountain men’ who have little to no service at their property. My aunt made contact with Eric’s daughter and although she was skeptical (who wouldn’t be) she realized that this contact was from a legitimate family member and the process of reuniting these siblings began. Thankfully Joe and Eric were receptive and excited when Eric’s daughter told them the news. Apparently Joe had tried and failed to find their family previously (which makes sense because my mom’s name changed when my grandma re-married). Before their reunion in June of this year I was talking to my mom and I asked her how she was feeling about everything. With tears in her eyes she said she felt really excited and a little nervous.

I’d like to take a moment to note that I’ve really struggled with my mom’s life story. I can’t quite fathom how her childhood could have been so awful yet she is the most beautiful person inside and out that I’ve ever met. It makes me angry when people dismiss her. My mom has a quiet but sincere presence and is the least demanding person I know. I pay close attention to how my family and friends interact with her and treat her. These days I can clearly see how my mom broke the cycle of abuse and neglect by raising us the opposite of what she experienced; she was and still is the absolute best mom. My brothers and I consider ourselves extremely blessed.

Needless to say, the reunion in June went well. When Joe first saw my mom he said that he remembered seeing her in the bushes crying all those years ago when he and Eric were taken from their home. My mom nodded, cried, and hugged him. Their first embrace in 60 years. Eric confirmed he didn’t remember much other than what he had heard from his brother. My mom told Joe how he got the scar on his face, she shared stories of their childhood… all the stories she had held onto for these years and her brother’s learned more about their past. The reunion was beautiful. My cousin’s husband filmed it all and I can’t watch it without crying and feeling all the emotions.

Now several months later (mid-August), it was my turn to meet my uncles and cousins. I couldn’t believe how sweet and funny my uncles were. Eric, his son, and his daughter came to visit and I could hardly wait to hug him and my cousins and meet their families. The following day my Uncle Joe rode up on his motorcycle and he looked equally shocked and happy when I popped out of the car and said “I’m your niece!” Both Joe and Eric made jokes about ‘betcha never knew we existed’ but it’s quite the contrary… I did know they existed and I had thought about them so much growing up. I am overjoyed that I finally have been able to hug them, laugh with them, talk to them, and learn about them and their lives. I also feel the same with my cousins! Eric’s daughter has a striking resemblance to our grandmother (all her best features) and she has such a positive personality, you can’t help but want to be around her. My other cousin is hilarious, he is easy going like his dad and adds the perfect amount of sarcasm to the conversation. I can’t wait to keep learning more about them and spending time with them.

Families are complex and I know many reunion stories that hold so much resentment and anger. I am grateful for a family that can look past the tragedies of the past and come out stronger and full of joy and appreciation for the present moments. We don’t understand why things happen the way they do but I sure am amazed with how everything works out. That is my story of our reunion… my mom’s sweet brother’s, my uncles, my cousins, our family.

Really the story is just beginning.

Recipe Dump Courtesy of Shari and Kendall

August 19, 2021August 18, 2021by thesaltyexchangeLeave a Comment

This week, we are keeping it simple. The truth is, we love cooking. The truth also is that sometimes cooking is just a pain in the butt- especially midweek. SO- here are some of our favorite recipes courtesy of Natalie of Tastes Lovely. She is all about clean eating and making that clean eating fun for everyone that you are trying to get dinner on the table for (friends, kiddos, partners, etc). With Shari currently off on family vacation and me (Kendall) in the thick of a toddler screaming for more Trader Joe’s Honey Oh’s (because YES she knows the difference between Honey Nut Cheerios and the TJ’s version), we need some simplistic and clean options to save time. Without further ado, here are some favorite tried and trued recipes from the lovely Natalie. Make sure to check out Tastes Lovely for more recipes and inspo!

Dairy Free Queso Nacho Cheese

Ok- we know, you are probably thinking, “Dairy free? Yeah right…”. BUT you would be remiss to ignore this recipe. It is super good, healthy, and easy to make. You can throw it on top of nachos, burrito bowls, veggies, etc. The sky is the limit. Make a large batch to keep on hand for the week. You will not regret it.

Keto Creamy Pesto Shrimp Pasta

Look, don’t be scared off by the word “keto.” Take a chill pill- keto stuff is actually pretty delicious. Just ask my husband. Anyways, if you want pasta but you don’t want the bloat and all the extra carbs that make the morning after harder, look no further. It’s easy, it’s delicious, and it feels… nourishing to eat. That’s a trifecta of things if you ask me.

Keto Zucchini Pizza Bites

Oh. My. God. Delish. Healthy. Kid friendly. A great appetizer for parties. Mic drop.

Keto Beef Enchiladas

Look, friends… I (Kendall) am just a Hispanic girl who loves her Mexican, Tex-Mex, and Latino foods. Living in Vermont, I don’t really get many options so whatever I am craving, I gotta make. I am telling you- this is so freaking good. I spice it up with, literally, extra spices and it’s perfect. I also am not gassy or bloated after… I call this a win. It’s great to make a large batch of these and keep them in the fridge for the week.

Whole 30 + Keto Zuppa Toscana Soup

Shari and I love soup. Like, love soup. Soup is the hallmark of the fall and winter seasons. Soup makes us feel warm inside. Soup gives us satisfaction. SO, here is one of our favorite recipes from Natalie. It kicks The Olive Garden’s version of this soup in the booty. Keep this one on deck for late September.

Updates and Thoughts on COVID-19

August 13, 2021by thesaltyexchangeLeave a Comment

Hey friends! We have been MIA for about a month. Shari and I were both super busy and needed some time to really focus on people, events, and ourselves. We are happy to be back! Our month away has shown us A LOT about where we are in this whole pandemic. With that said, read on for our thoughts, experiences, and questions.

COVID Updates from Kendall:

We’ve had mixed feelings about this topic. I mean, what is there to really say? Shari and I birthed The Salty Exchange during the height of the COVID lockdown. We spent hours talking about when things would get back to “normal.” Over the past 18 months we’ve seen our friends and family members all express their opinions, hopes, and fears to varying degrees. We’ve all worn masks, missed each other, dried our hands out because of hand sanitizer and hand washing, and we’ve all wondered what was next. It’s been an interesting time…

As a current resident of Vermont (and undoubtedly the safest place to be in during this pandemic), we’ve had our fair share of worries and woes. We’ve missed our families (TX and WA). There’s been cuts to our paycheck (thankfully that’s remedied now). Our proficiency with Zoom, FaceTime, and WhatsApp video chats has matured. In recent months, things have begun to open up more. With the vaccine available to the masses and a hopeful vaccination rate on the rise, there was a small sliver of time this year where it felt… familiar.

It was during this sliver of time (May-July) that my husband and I were lucky enough to see our immediate family members. We had a steady stream of guests for about 2 months straight. While this was a lot of work on my end as the hostess, I wouldn’t trade it for a minute. It had been two years since seeing my husband’s family. That’s far too long to go without seeing the people you love. As these reunions were taking place, Vermont was also lucky enough to hit our 80% vaccination goal. Life was starting to happen. Literally. I saw life coming back to the streets of my small state.

I still see that life. I still see that hope. My husband and I have done our part. We have vaccinated ourselves and anxiously await the day we can get Rosemary vaccinated. I don’t know when it went from “we are all in this together” to making the vaccine political. I get that there is a strong group of people who don’t like vaccines. I getcha- I may think differently than you, but that’s totally fine! I care enough about you to vaccinate myself to protect you. Even with all of these new variants like Delta and Lamda (WTF- Lamda sounds scary), I have hope. But every day I feel that hope slipping a bit. The anger of being asked to wear a mask seems pretty extreme and just too much for some. Why is it too much? I am genuinely asking. Is a mask really an infringement on your rights as an American? Because I just don’t see it but I am open to hearing your reasons why. Seriously. Let’s talk.

I often feel triggered by the news. The numbers of those dying are too high. The number of people not trusting science is too high. For me, I have yet to see anyone die from the virus. I know of people who have passed on because of it or are currently sick. Truthfully, it’s hard to process. We should care more about this stuff; specifically, we should care more about the prevention of diseases and viruses than we do.To not take the threat of this pandemic seriously means you are ok with the circumstances. It means you don’t really value what is right in front of you. You must be incredibly privileged to think you can beat it. It’s just the flu right? Well, surprise! People die of the flu. All the time. And it isn’t fair. It should be stopped. So when did trying to find a better cure or treatment plan become political? I have said it before and I will scream it again: I saw my mom die of the flu. And it was pretty much the same way people are dying of COVID. I can hardly think of that time without a pit in my stomach. I wasn’t even supposed to touch her because they were worried about us picking up her virus. But I still snuck in a last kiss. That’s the most basic and human thing I have ever done. I couldn’t let her go without hoping she felt it. Even if it meant I could get sick. So, for her, I vaccinate. And I ask that in her honor, you do too.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: Even if it turns out this is all a hoax, don’t you want to know that you did all you could to protect your family? Your friends? Your life? Don’t you want to know that you cared enough to do something?

COVID Updates from Shari:

When Kendall and I decided to write a Covid Update in August, I thought I’d have so much insight after just helping pull off the first in-person conference for my company since March of 2020. But to be honest, I don’t have much more insight. This is still a confusing time in life as we enter into what is undoubtedly another slough of restrictions and social navigation amongst family and friends.

Immediately before we left for San Diego, the CDC issued new guidelines for wearing masks indoors (including those that are vaccinated). My company informed us that all the employees would be abiding by this new information; so I promptly washed all my masks and packed them in my suitcase. Our event made national news as the first conference held at the San Diego Convention Center in 18 months. The event went as smoothly as it could with a significant drop in attendance (we missed our International attendees) but the smiles on faces, the side conversations that felt naturally unnatural, and the slightly awkward networking that proved how out of practice we are… was worth the distance, safety, and vaccination to be together again knowing we had done our part in it all. As a result, our event was outbreak free and we are so thankful everyone had a good time.

Now that I am back home and have a few moments to reflect on the past week in San Diego, and simultaneously take in the emerging news, I am torn. I just witnessed the connection and embrace of humanity in-person again. The reality that we are going backwards with variants and the spread of Covid again is a bit much to accept. I see meme’s from both sides of the coin and honestly… it feels like we are entering into an interpersonal civil war rather than one against the real enemy that is the virus. As a nation we are not a team. We are kids bickering going from one conspiracy theory to the next. Social media is our battlefield and it is obnoxious to say the least. Maybe it is my personality that causes me to be appalled by conflict or maybe it is the fact that adults seem to enjoy playing the devil’s advocate and it’s extremely exhausting.

Whatever it is, I long for some good news. So here it is…

Today I am celebrating the fact that a good friend of mine is on the mend after fighting for her life last week due to Covid and pneumonia. I couldn’t imagine losing her (I am sure I will write more about this eventually) but in the meantime, let’s work together for goodness sake. It is a helpless feeling when your friends or family are sick and I don’t wish it on any of you.