If you have read any of my other blogs about pregnancy, you might remember that I hated being pregnant. Like, hated it. I was in so much pain. Depression dominated most of the second and third trimesters. I was not myself. But… Rosemary was worth every single moment of that pregnancy. Regardless, I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that to myself or my marriage again.
For a while we were on the fence about a second kid. And then, we promptly decided it was not on the table. I would like to say this is where God laughed. The pandemic happened. We were locked down at home. It was during this time that my mind began to change. The COVID-19 pandemic showed me something super clear; if something happened to Issy or I we never wanted Rosemary to be alone. She needed a sibling.
We agreed to put off the “official decision” until Issy was done with graduate school. BUT in the spring of 2021, I knew that if a second baby was going to happen, it needed to be sooner rather than later. This wasn’t because I felt an urgent need for a baby. Honestly, I knew if we waited until the end of 2022/early 2023, I may not be up to it. It took a while for me to really become a stronger version of myself both physically and mentally after Rosemary’s birth. Our marriage has been in a super strong place (COVID brought us closer in every way rather than driving us apart like it did for so many). Everything just felt “right.” I didn’t want that to fade.
So, we took our time, talked to my doctor, and just started trying to have a baby. That’s code for “doing it” a lot. This fall, it happened. My first trimester was tough but not as tough as the first trimester in 2018. My food aversions were there but, once again, not bad. There were some bad days… but nothing compared to my 2018 pregnancy. We were excited to share the news with the people we love during the holiday season and, finally, celebrate something other than a vaccine shot.
At present, I am 22.5 weeks. I am feeling good. Everything seems to be in a good place. The nursery is pretty much set up (minus the artwork). Rosemary is beginning to understand there is a baby in my belly. She is beyond happy to sing her baby brother songs and give him morning kisses. For the sake of my mental health I am relieved that this pregnancy hasn’t seemed to take me down. It also helps that I am better at communicating my feelings and needs with the people around me. Talking to my girlfriends via Marco Polo has also helped. I feel so connected to them and oddly enough, a lot of us are all in the same place in terms of being pregnant or having children. It’s nice to have a tribe.
My current cravings include broccoli, strawberries, yogurt, strawberry cake, strawberry shortcake, chocolate covered strawberries, hummus, roasted carrots, and Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams. I get sleepy easily and my belly is starting to feel nice and heavy. While this pregnancy hasn’t been as tough, I still don’t love the whole process. I am just not that woman. BUT, I do have a massive appreciation for what my body is able to do and what it is able to handle. I feel stronger than I ever have despite the random aches and pains.
What (or should I say who) I am really grateful for in this whole process is my husband. He has been such a loving force for me. The other night I curled into him and started crying. I didn’t know why. My hormones just needed to get it out of my system and he was there for all of it. I love that he sings to the baby and reaches for my belly at night time. It’s peaceful.
I can’t wait to meet my little man.
The Salty Exchange 