Shari’s Birth Story

It feels a little surreal to write this. I read so many birth stories leading up to my own experience that they all seemed to blend together. As an Event Planner by profession, I kept reminding myself that every birth is a highly anticipated event… it starts, it happens, it’s over, and you recover. Like my pregnancy, I was hoping for a fairly textbook birth and for the most part that is exactly what I got. But so. much. better. I finally got to meet Koralyn and there are truly no words for that moment. I certainly had none. She was perfect, her dimples melted me instantly, and every ounce of energy and intensity that her birth took was worth it. Here is the story of my labor and Koralyn’s arrival.

My birth story starts 9 days past my due date (which was July 8th, 2022), we planned an induction on Sunday, July 17th. Alex and I arrived at the hospital at 7:45 am. A nurse came in and hesitantly asked me if I was okay having “Hilary” as my nurse, it took me a moment to realize that she was referring to MY FRIEND, Hilary. Ummm yes I want her as my nurse! Honestly it took a little of my nerves away knowing that I had a friend there with me (along with my husband and mom). It took several failed attempts and eventually calling the specialist to come get my IV put in (Hilary opted not to poke me so none of those tries were done by her). The whole IV port process took nearly 3 hours,  thanks to my deep veins apparently. At some point during the IV debacle my mom arrived. Around 11 am we started the Pitocin. Hilary increased it every 30 minutes until my contractions showed they were moving along nicely. Bored, Alex, my mom, and I sat there chatting watching my contractions increase and joking about how long this process was going to take. Eventually Alex propped up his phone and we watched an episode of “Skinwalker Ranch” (the first season is on Netflix… so good!). I sat on the round inflatable ball bouncing while eating a popsicle. Not long after the episode ended around 1:50 pm, I was enjoying the second half of my popsicle when I suddenly I felt the GUSH. My water broke! It was like a scene from a movie; water surrounding me, pure shock on my face, and everyone in disbelief over the amount of liquid on the floor. CLEANUP ON AISLE THREE!!! Hilary laughed right along with us and helped me get out of my soaking wet leggings and clothing. 

The next few hours were a blur for me as my contractions went from super manageable to more intense and painful. After a few contractions brought literal tears to my eyes (I like to think I have a high pain tolerance), I gave my mom and husband a look of defeat… “I think I want an epidural.” Hilary, came to confirm and I started to cry a little. She asked me if it was because I was in pain or if it was because of asking for the epidural or both… crying a little harder I said “both”. It was true. I wanted to be stronger, I wanted to labor naturally, BUT I had always been open to having an epidural (especially after being induced) – I just truly thought labor wasn’t going to be so instantaneously rough. The best way I can describe the intensity of the contractions (at that point) was sharp but dense pain that reverberated through my whole entire body. Similar to cramps but way more intense and add in an entire body experience that makes your eyes water and your teeth clinch even through concentrated breath work. Although I felt defeated by the waves of pain, I reminded myself that this was all a part of my birth plan, it was okay, normal, and all that mattered was getting the baby out safely. Why not do so with a little help from an epidural? 

The epidural was quick and painless, it worked effectively on my left side but my right side was barely numb. Thanks to my Birth Class I knew that the epidural moves and disperses with gravity so if I leaned to my right side it would help the epidural numb that area, which it totally did. At this point it was after 4 pm and I was a solid 5 hours into labor. I had progressed incrementally with dilation and effacement but felt like I still had a long way to go. Contractions had settled some and the epidural was doing its job, I relaxed enough to realize I was hungry but I wasn’t allowed many options. My dinner consisted of chicken broth and ANOTHER popsicle (man, those popsicles sure tasted good!). I met my new nurse who came onto shift at 7 pm and said good-bye to Hilary. Bummed that she didn’t get to help deliver Koralyn, I was so thankful to have her by my side through those first hours of laboring and the epidural. 

My new nurse, Anna, chatted with me about hiking and I instantly liked her. Alex took a few photos as we joked about the names of the positions I was laboring in… one was called “The Throne” and I kinda felt like a very pregnant queen, ha. Anna, Alex, and my mom helped me change positions, because of the epidural I was numb and my legs were like tree trunks, moving me was a team effort. My contractions remained consistent. At some point in the next hour or two I transitioned… my mom was there and ready for her moment to hand me the blue bag to vomit into, she knew I would get nauseous and most likely throw up. How did she know? Because she always did during her labor transitions. Like mother, like daughter… I definitely threw up. I wasn’t prepared for the uncontrollable shivering, my body reacting to birth in a way I never thought it would. I sat there shivering looking at my husband like, “What is wrong with me?” 

At this point, all the signs were there for my nurse to check me and see how far along I had progressed. Sure enough at 10 pm, I was 10 cm dilated, 100% effaced and ready to start pushing. They called my OB and she told them to wait until she arrived for me to start pushing. I remember feeling pressure in the beginning and middle of my contractions. I focused on that feeling and knew that was my body’s natural rhythm. At 10:45 pm my OB had arrived and we started the continuous game of push for a count of 10 – in the same position for at least 4-5 pushes – then switch positions and start over again and that routine is what I FOCUSED everything on. After pushing for 2 hours, my OB got called out to the hallway. Based on hospital policy they don’t like women to push for over 3 hours. However, my blood pressure was good and the baby’s heart rate was steady so there wasn’t any cause for concern. I kept pushing and my doctor declined their offer to prep the OR. She told me later that she said, “My girl is getting this baby out in the next hour!”

When my OB came back after that conversation out in the hallway she turned into a vocal cheerleader and I am not joking when I say the whole room turned into a cheering match. I had been laboring for just over 13 hours at that point and pushing for 2, I was ready. I found a position that felt strong and I stayed there counting through contractions with my mom and my husband by my side. My OB grabbed my hand to touch Koralyn’s head (even though I didn’t think I would want to) it gave me the motivation I needed to get her out completely. I knew I was close when I saw my mom and husband tearing up. We were about to meet our little girl.  Koralyn got cheered into the world at 1:57 am. A little over 3 hours of pushing to get my girl earth side and it was worth every – hunched over, count to ten, burst of energy – moment.

She was placed on my stomach in what felt like an instant but they somehow managed to wipe her down and cut my top so quickly I didn’t even notice. Everything happened so fast and then slowed down to a very intimate and calm introduction. I held Koralyn, looking at her sweet face and then peering up at my husband and mom saying, “I did it, we did it, she is here! Look at these dimples!” I barely noticed delivering the placenta and Alex cutting the cord. I remember wanting them to weigh her but they insisted I take my full hour of post-birth skin to skin time. It was blissful. We stayed another day so they could check all of her (and my) vitals and take some tests before we got the clearance to go home.

I don’t think I would have believed you if you told me that would be our story but I am so thankful and grateful that it is. A positive birth experience is what I was hoping for and exactly what I got. The real postpartum didn’t start until after we left the hospital and I will save all those details for another blog.

Kendall’s Winter Must-Haves

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Winter is coming and I have to be prepared (hello, Vermont weather).

ORORO Heated Apparel
The heated vest from Ororo is AMAZING. The battery life is great, it keeps me warm, and is lightweight enough (I have the down vest). I can’t wait to take this baby out on a snowshoe adventure.

Williams Sonoma Hot Chocolate
Y’all… this is THE hot chocolate to beat ALL hot chocolates. Instead of powder there are chocolate shavings. Melt those down in some your choice of water or milk (whole and oat are my top faves) and you instantly have something cozy, rich, and comforting.

Trish McEvoy Moisturizer with SPF
Dry skin got you down? Sun exposure when you are out skiing or taking a stroll in the snow? Trish has you covered. The price is a bit high… BUT it is so heavenly on your skin. It hydrates and protects you in a way that makes you feel glow-y and beautiful!

Kiehl’s Ultimate Strength Hand Salve
My hands get gross and dry in the winter. Seriously, they look aged and have an evil hue of grey to them. Cue Kiehl’s. This hand salve is so good for my hands. It takes the dry and achy pain away (since they can get cracked and husky). I use this year round but it is ESSENTIAL in the winter months.

These are my four main items (not sponsored!) that I use and love. When it comes to food, I love the season variety of things you can find at Trader Joe’s. Buying something festive from there can up your holiday hosting game or make you an excellent guest to any holiday party.

Stay safe and warm, friends!

Shari’s Four Fall Favorites

As we were coming back from “maternity leave” from the blog I asked on Instagram stories what you’d like us to share about and one of the most requested topics was to share our fall favorites. This week I bring to you… four of my fall must-haves. Like all our lists of favorites, they aren’t sponsored – we wish. Fall is a time of nestling in to the season with comfort food, quality time with family, and lots of traditions. A busy but anticipated time of year where I welcome the change of weather and scenery. However, the change of weather does a number on my skin and forces me to dress in layers. My list of must-haves for fall takes that change of season seriously. Let’s dive in…

Lou Lou Company Beanies: No shame in matching my little one, I have bought us a couple matching beanies for the fall and winter. Similar to the Carhartt beanies that I love, these are warm, comfortable, and come in multiple cute colors. Sizes are limited but they should be restocking again soon.

Billie Lotion: I am a big fan of the Billie razors and shaving cream but I also order their lotion. If you are anything like me I get very dry when the weather changes and I notice it more in the fall and winter months. This lotion has a fruity citrus scent and is also very hydrating. Highly recommend!

LMNT Electrolytes: Pronounced ‘Element’ – this product is legit. I am notorious for lacking in hydration which isn’t ideal for a breastfeeding mom. Another way I encourage myself to stay hydrated is by using LMNT in my water, it is super salty so I dilute it and drink it in 60-80 oz throughout the day. This way I know that I am setting myself up for a tasty drink and ultimate hydration. My favorite flavors are Raspberry and Citrus. Their website goes into more detail about the benefits of sodium, magnesium, and potassium. Definitely recommend this drink year round!

Fleece Pullover: I really like the cost effective ‘REI Co-op Trailsmith Fleece Pullovers’ to keep myself warm. The color I have is bright “deep dive” blue and can be found in the plus size section. I am a big fan of comfy sweaters and jackets in the fall, winter and spring months. Fleeces are that perfect in-between layer and great for wearing around the house. My advice is to size up for a little extra comfort.

There you have it, my current favorites for fall. From layering head to toe to staying hydrated both inside and out, these are my recommendations (again not sponsored but I wouldn’t mind… LMNT, lol). I could go on and on about a few other products I am trying out like Beam powder that is suppose to help with sleep or my new heated back massager… but I haven’t tested both out long enough to recommend them quite yet. What are some of your current fall favorites?

Postpartum Be Like…

Postpartum Be Like…

Confusing. With Rosemary, I had little to no postpartum symptoms. Granted, I had a terrible pregnancy that was fraught with depression and constant queasy-ness. But in terms of postpartum, nothing. With Chéo? My name is Kendall and I have postpartum depression and anxiety.

In my college years, I dealt with depression and anxiety. Through therapy, I learned A LOT about myself and depression/anxiety. I am beyond grateful for those experiences. It taught me so much and has allowed me to understand my current feelings. I have no shame about my feelings and understand the “triggers” that affect me. Chéo’s pregnancy was relatively easy- which, I was thankful for. But the feelings that have come after his birth are… intimidating. I feel so overwhelmed at times that I can’t breath. It’s not rational. It’s not healthy. But it’s what I feel. I feel safe and confident when it comes to caring for my son. Life is what I am struggling with. It feels so scary; so negative. In reality, I KNOW life is not either of these things. But, in moments of emotional vulnerability, I struggle to know that. One of the only moments, I feel calm is when I am snuggled into my husband before bed. This struggle was beginning to creep into my daily life. And truthfully, I don’t have any patience for that. I have two kiddos to raise. I am mama. My daughter needs me for practically everything as does my son. I can’t be anything but my best. So…. when the point came where I felt like I couldn’t be my best, I knew I needed to get some help. I need help not because I am weak because I am not. I need help because I know myself and know I am capable of talking over all those negative voices. If I ignore them, I risk the chance of truly hurting myself emotionally. By acknowledging them, I guarantee success for myself as a person, wife, and mother.

Postpartum depression and anxiety feels like an extreme amount of pressure. I have such a big life outside of these feelings that I can’t become too consumed by them and I know this. Seeking help is paramount to not only my mental health but the health of my family. That doesn’t take away that my feelings are very real and very important. Going through this has also shown me how I have changed. Strip away the titles of wife and mom and who the heck am I? I am not sure. But I know I need to figure that out. I have to swim through the maze of diapers and perpetual smell of baby poop, dinners and dishes, and commute to Rosemary’s school in the next town to see who I have become. What interests me? What do I want to do? What about me is interesting? Truth? I have no effing idea. It’s hard work because I don’t have the time to just sit and figure it out. But, I need to make the time.

I have given all of myself to bear my kiddos. It’s a special kind of love and one that I feel honored to understand. Now, it’s time to reclaim a bit of myself. I will encourage other moms all day long whether it be in the SAHM struggle, or the boss moms returning to work. But I don’t give myself even a teaspoon of that love and acceptance. Hypocrisy isn’t for me. What is for me is accepting my feelings, working through them, and coming out of them a better person. If you are struggling with any mental health issues, please reach out to your doctor.

Kendall: Food, Food, Food

If you follow us on Instagram, you know that both Shari and I just had babies. Shari is opening up about that this week and I will do so in the weeks to come. For now, I want to talk about food.

Food has been on my mind. A lot. I am breastfeeding again and my little boy EATS. Like, EATS. I sometimes feel queasy during or after because of how much he is eating. When that happens, I also feel hungry. It’s a disastrous marriage of feelings. Due to his healthy appetite and it’s affect on me, I have been really thoughtful about food.

Normally, my husband and I do not eat a lot of carbs. Lately, I have needed the carbs to keep my energy up and to satiate that terrible hungry/queasy feeling. I like to be thoughtful about what I eat. I am in my thirties and I can’t just eat whatever I want and expect to not see any consequences. Eating smart is paramount. BUT, I also want to enjoy my food. With that said, here are my favorite fall recipes that I have been making over and over that feel good to both my tastebuds AND to my body and what it needs.

Crockpot Crispy Buffalo Chicken Tacos with Jalapeño Ranch (Half Baked Harvest)
OMG these are so good and so easy to make- even the homemade ranch and crispy taco part. You can doctor this to meet your cravings. These tacos are filling and have such good flavor.

Homemade Tomato Soup (Joy Food Sunshine)
I hated tomato soup as a kid. But in recent years I have become a total fan. This is super easy to make and can be served alongside a small salad or yummy bread. Tips: Instead of throwing the mixture in a blender, you can also throw it in to the pot and use an immersion blender. If you are wanting more tomato flavor, blend in a can of San Marzano tomatoes to the mix!

Marry Me Chicken (Delish)
This dish is REALLY good. My husband adores this dinner. You can throw it over a bed of pasta, rice, cauliflower rice or vegetables. I made this recipe last night and added in steamed broccoli. It was so satisfying it felt like it was a “cheat” meal but it was actually pretty decent for you. Enjoy!

Breakfast- Anything from Downshiftology
Browse her breakfast recipes. Most everything is super easy, nutritional, and can be catered to the different seasons. For example: paleo pumpkin pancakes or sweet potato toast anyone?

There you have it. That’s what I am eating these days and I hope you find something tasty to try out too!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Shari: I’m Back!

First off, thank you for your excitement for Kendall and I to come back from maternity leave. It has taken a little while for me (I can’t speak for Kendall) to get back in the swing of things. I’ve learned that having a newborn brings its own amount of adjustments including admitting when extra endeavors seem like “too much.” I am grateful for family and friends that remind me to not over-do it and to keep my main focus on myself and my little one.

With that said, let’s talk about motherhood. I am so happy to be feeling more normal and less overwhelmed by the thought of anything added onto my plate besides just managing life with a newborn. I will share the birth story in a future post but for now I will tell you it was pretty straightforward. My pregnancy and Koralyn’s birth were fairly textbook and I am extremely grateful for that. My challenges arose in the days following the birth of Koralyn which will be a blog post for another day. It was a learning curve and it’s true when they say “nothing truly prepares you for motherhood” no matter how many blog post articles I skimmed, videos I watched, books I read, or accounts I followed on the topic… pregnancy, birth, and postpartum are so different and personal for everyone. One thing I think has been done well in more recent years is ACTUALLY talking about those differences so that mothers can also find some solidarity. There is guaranteed to be some story somewhere that parallels their experience even if it’s not exact. Motherhood has its pros and cons but more than anything, I am simply honored to be Koralyn’s mom and that is all that truly  matters.

My work-life balance is also coming back slowly. I am allowing myself to transition properly, or atleast I am trying to. Thankfully my coworkers and company also give me grace which is a support that I will never take for granted. I work from home half days on Monday and Friday which has helped me ease back into the full days Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. Koralyn is with family and friends and I try not to overthink the rest (easier said than done with a postpartum brain). I have to say, trying to keep her on a “schedule” is laughable but for an almost 4 month old she is managing well and thankfully I am getting some solid sleep. I know, that seems like a very vague report on how life is currently going. If there is something more specific you’d like me to blog about, please let me know and I’d be happy to.

For now, I will leave you with this sweet photo from Koralyn’s newborn photoshoot (when she was only 7 days fresh).

Photo credit: Bailey Erickson Photography