Month: January 2023

My children wouldn’t let me sit down to actually write this, so here you go! I wish I could be more articulate, but it’s the end of the week and my head is basically mush. Literal mush. You are all just lucky my hair is washed.

PSA before you watch: Neither staying at home or going to work is harder. IF you are trying to compare them, that’s on you. The grass is never greener and parenting is a freaking trip. A well worth it, beautiful, hard, emotional, and long one.

To the SAHM, I know you can feel so incredibly inadequate. You beat yourself up for not going back to work. You beat yourself up for not having anything of interest to say to your partner at the end of the day. Instead, all you have to offer is your overstimulated and tired self with avocado and snot on your shirt. Fight for yourself. YOU are in there. You are interesting. You are beautiful. You are more than just a mom- you are a woman with all kinds of wonderful things to offer the world. And when someone says that being a mom is your most important job- nod and smile. Sure, it is because it’s lasting. But guess what? Being a human with passions, interests, and something other to say than skidamarink a doo (IFYKYK)- is just as valuable to the world.

I want to start out by saying it’s okay to work. It’s okay. You are a good mom and your child will not bond with you any less if you have an 8-5 Monday through Friday job. They are still your child, they love you, and you will create so many wonderful memories with them. Do not beat yourself up over the fact that you aren’t with them every second of every day. Quit being so hard on yourself. I’m starting with these statements because even if you don’t read the rest of this letter, I just want you to simply know it’s okay to work and you’re a good mom.

Now let’s get into it… the balance of it. The balance of work and home. You thought it was tough before kids and then it gets one hundred times more complicated after you have a child. Hormones and stress levels cause you to feel like a failure at both, I understand. I don’t believe there is such a thing as true balance between motherhood and home-life while also adding in the demands of a job that can sometimes follow you home. To find balance and peace with excessive demands at work and home is unrealistic. Don’t be fooled by the other working moms around you. They cry in the shower sometimes too and it doesn’t make them any less of an awesome mom and badass employee. So when you are trying to find the balance between work and home, rest assured that there is no such thing and what you are doing is good enough.

Working mom, I see you idolizing the stay at home mom content on social media. Me too. The guilt that creeps in as you see moms feeding their baby lunch while you sit in the quiet room at work and pump. Please don’t feel guilty for working or feel like you are missing out on crucial moments with your little one. I want you to know that the relationships you are creating with co-workers and the relationships your baby is creating with their caregivers while they are away from you are important. Your social life matters and sharing your baby with others is a gift to both them and the person (and maybe other kids at daycare) they are building a relationship with. The act of releasing control around yourself and your child is admirable because one day they will be teenagers and you will be forced to let go which is something that you already practiced early on. I’m proud of you because I know how hard it is. Being a SAHM has its benefits, sure, but so does being a working mother.

What are those benefits? You have another place to exercise your skills, you receive recognition at work for your successes, you bring home an additional income to help your family, and so much more. Working momma, it is a gift to be able to have a creative outlet away from home and your company is lucky to have your talents, skills, and abilities.

Remember that you, working momma, are pure dedication. In the morning when you pack every item your baby may possibly need while they are away from you and simultaneously pack your own bags, pumps, snacks, lunch, etc – just wow, you deserve an award for getting out the door without forgetting something, ha! Oh and don’t forget the extra hugs and kisses you give your baby that cause you to be several minutes late to work but are worth every second of reminding them how much you love them. I see you look at pictures of your baby at work and try not to count down the minutes until you are with them again. I see you showing co-workers something new and cute they did but also trying not to be the “annoying” proud mom. Who cares. You are dedicated to your child, they are your world, even if you aren’t with them 24/7.

Lastly momma, you are still a good employee. I know you may forget things in regards to your job from time to time. Mom brain, is real. But just know that the qualities that make you a truly exceptional parent also make you a valuable employee. You deserve to excel at your job, let yourself. Don’t be discouraged by the laundry list you have at home but rather be encouraged that you have a life to come home to that is full to the brim. The stress and overwhelm you may feel in the office all melts away when you cuddle your baby to sleep. Vice versa, let the stress and overwhelm of being a mom melt away when you enter the office and put your skills to work. We all have rough days, however, those hard moments do not define a lifetime.

Working momma, you are a good mom, a dedicated mom, a superstar employee, and a caring coworker. Give yourself some grace when you can’t do it all. Let the time away from your child fuel you to make the moments you do have extra special. Let the time away from your child ignite the other part of your brain. Most of all be proud of yourself for setting the example of hard working mother and also a mother that puts in the work at home too.

Love,

Another Working Mom