Month: June 2023

Shari’s No Committee Season

by thesaltyexchangeLeave a Comment on Shari’s No Committee Season

The rumors are true, I am no longer on any boards, committees or volunteer groups (outside of work). I am on a hiatus and I am totally fine with it. Actually I am more than fine, I am thrilled to have a lack of commitment in a season where I just want to soak up my baby and all her sweet milestones. But before I gush about my lack of commitments and responsibilities let me remind you that I spent the last 20 years of my life apart of at minimum – two organizations leading in some capacity. There was a point in the not-so-distant past that I was the President of three different organizations. PRESIDENT… simultaneously! Without a doubt, I learned so much as I held those important roles and while leadership comes with it’s own amount of stress there is also something special about watching an organization increase in membership, develop a solid structure, and host successful (and FUN) events under your leadership. Each time I left my Presidential role, I passed the torch to someone that I worked with closely and it always felt so good knowing that the group was continuing on in more than capable hands. Although I am still a member of several organizations, it feels nice to just attend like a regular member and enjoy the lack of responsibility. Ahh, bliss!

From Daughters of Norway to SheJumps, I have had the pleasure of holding leadership positions for organizations I could go on and on about for hours. But for now I will just highlight two. Daughters of Norway is an impressive sisterhood that is committed to carrying on the traditions of our motherland, Scandinavia. I am still an active member but it feels good to attend the meetings from the audience these days! SheJumps is all about getting women and girls outdoors. I held numerous events from guiding an Intro Into Snowshoeing to hosting a multi-day class for Wilderness First Aid Training. I loved putting on events that made women feel more confident in their ability to simply enjoy the outdoors and further their desire to explore our beautiful area. It never gets old when you are doing something you are passionate about. However, burnout is a real issue for people that continue to give more than they are truly able. I love that I can still be a part of these organizations without holding a leadership role. Maybe in the future I will again but for now I like that I can refocus on myself and my family.

Honestly, I have been waiting years for this, this freedom. Sorry to anyone reading that may take offense to that. I wasn’t counting down the days to toss out my committee commitments (say that ten times fast). Somewhere in the past year between pregnancy, birth, maternity leave, post partum, a demanding profession, travel, juggling family life, and my “extra” commitments… I realized that I needed to have a season of nothing. A season of just cherishing my little girl, enjoying time with my husband, and figuring out how to prioritize myself. That last part is the key. Figuring out how to re-prioritize myself. I can’t overcomplicate this season with unnecessary extras. I’d lose myself in the process if I did. If I had any extra commitments right now I’d be pouring from an empty cup and that just isn’t fair to anyone, especially me.

As I navigate this new season I seem to be asking others different questions. I want to know what you are passionate about? Are you in a season of volunteering your time or are you figuring out how to re-prioritize yourself (too)?

I genuinely would like to know in the comments below ❤

This photo is from a SheJumps event where I lead a group of ladies on a snowshoeing adventure!

The Art of Friendship

by thesaltyexchangeLeave a Comment on The Art of Friendship
The Art of Friendship

As I prepare for one of my closest friends to visit this week, I have been reflecting on the idea of friendship. Truth be told, friendships are one of my biggest sources of anxiety. In my teenage years, friendships were always dramatic and hurtful. People who were supposed to be my friends, really hurt me. I was already a dramatic young woman and those experiences just took me up a notch. I could cringe at so many memories of myself from that time. All around, it was just a disaster of a time; as is normal for a lot of teenagers. The trauma of that has sort of stuck with me even though I learned a lot from it.

Over the years as I have grown up, matured, and changed, I have gone through phases of what it means to be a friend. I tend to be overly loyal. What I mean by this is that if you are in my life, you are IN it. This can sometimes be toxic to myself. It adds pressure and expectations that I don’t necessarily have the mental capacity to handle. I have to actively work to not take people so seriously in terms of what they are willing to give me as a friend. This is where boundaries have started coming up.

While friends are important, nothing and no one is as important as my family. If a party or coffee date conflicts with something regarding my family, I am not really in. If someone has a problem that my life revolves around two kids under 5, I don’t really hang out with them. AND that is ok. It doesn’t make us bad friends or people. What it means is that in this season of life is about the priority of bed times, snuggles, building forts, making lunches and snacks upon snacks. In time, that will change and as such, how I friend will change. One thing that all of my experiences of friendship has taught me is that you will not always get along/ see eye to eye with a friend and that because of that it doesn’t make your friendship less meaningful. Part of my friendship trauma that took a long time to understand is my insecurity. Am I good enough? Creative enough? Understanding enough? Giving enough? Funny enough? Cool enough? Protective enough? Trying to answer all those things can actually make you a worse friend; at least it has for me. The truth is this: who gives a f*@k. I am never going to everything someone needs just as someone is never going to everything I need. In my journey of always trying to please people, I ended up really hating myself. It took me YEARS to recover from those feelings that swirled around me. It made me a bit of a toxic person and bit more of a toxic friend. I was never a “bad” friend but I wasn’t really myself sometimes. The self discovery journey really is a bitch sometimes.

What I look for in a friend now is super simple. Do you see my heart and accept the craziness of it? Do you understand my current priorities but still see ME as a woman underneath it all? Do I do those things for you? To keep it simple, there is no middle ground. The answers are either “yes” or “no.” Take people as they are and believe who they tell you they are. Friendships should RARELY be complicated or painful. Meet people where they are and be okay with having that expectation in return.

In the past year since my son was born, I have really changed the way I see myself as a friend. I am not sure why but his birth made me more accepting, loving, and simple. Simple can have a bad connotation but in this instance, I mean it as a good thing. I keep things simple. If I start to overcomplicate friendships, I get an anxiety attack. So keeping things simple is really important. Keeping simple expectations of myself AND of people has made me a happier person.

With that said, I can’t wait for Kate to show up tomorrow. Kate is someone who has seen me through A LOT and still likes me. To be fair, we have seen each other through so many phases of our adult lives and I am beyond grateful to have her in my life. She is a blessing to not only my life but the life of my family. A good friend is very precious- treasure them!