Author: thesaltyexchange

Where have Kendall and I gone?! Nowhere in particular.

For me, the past two months (or really since my baby’s first birthday in July) have been about finding me again. I got kind of lost in the post-partum haze. Not in a bad way though, I think the first year of a baby’s life should be about them… caring for them, nurturing them, loving them, and watching them hit milestone after milestone. I enjoyed Koralyn’s first year of life. It didn’t fly by it took the perfect amount of time. It is a year I will replay in my head and look back fondly on. I gave myself and my body so much grace. I didn’t want to bounce back, I didn’t want to workout as punishment for my soft squishy body… I mean, I was feeding a tiny human and producing more milk than I ever imagined. Every ounce of my energy quite literally went to my baby and wow, did she grow and excel. I’m so proud of us both. Although it is hard for me to admit that work and the rest of my sweet family got a very low-energy version of me (kidding but not).

Those of you in the depths post-partum or on the brink of it… it’s really nothing to fear and for most people it can last longer than a year (technically up to seven years). My best advice is to give you during post-partum is to give yourself so much grace and then when a weird expectation or self-loathing shows up, consciously say NO to those thoughts! They will never serve you. Also stay aware of how you are feeling. Post-partum depression is sneaky. Reach out to mom-friends for support. Talk about how you are feeling, do not bottle it up. Your spouse or partner cannot read your mind no matter how ‘in-tune’ with you they are. Ask for help even when you think you don’t need it. Delegate tasks, you are running at a lower speed than normal. Try your best to stop comparing yourself and/or your baby to others. Milestones happen over time and your baby will hit them when they are ready. You deserve to heal and conserve that precious energy and brain power. Being a mom is a lot. Sending you a giant comforting and encouraging hug.

Something shifted for me after Koralyn’s first birthday. Still breastfeeding, although significantly less, I decided I wanted to workout again because it simply feels good to move and lift with a purpose. I wasn’t sedentary for 12 months but “working out” for me consisted of walks, stretching, and lifting my baby CONSTANTLY! So I re-joined my gym and did a simple 5-day a week workout plan from Bethany Ruth on Instagram. In the first month I lost about 5 lbs, although I was so proud of myself, I knew I wanted to tackle nutrition too. Alex and I chatted with our friend and nutritionist (and also our gym owner) Jackie. She encouraged us to do the Restart Program with her as our nutritionist and we both agreed. Ultimately the program is a sugar detox and focuses on whole foods (NO processed food) along with an education element and weekly meetings with Jackie that Alex and I both really appreciated. We saw results immediately. Different but similar to clean Keto that we did in 2021 (pre-baby).

Today is day 40 of the Restart Program which is technically only a 4-week program and we have clearly stuck with it because we feel good. I feel like I am out of the post-partum haze and getting back to myself and my health again. Koralyn is still a huge priority to me AND I am also a priority. It’s not a perfect system… some days are easier than others to workout or meal-prep but the effort and the work has paid off. My birthday is this month and I am turning 36! I can’t imagine a better way to welcome the next year than by feeling the BEST I can possibly feel while also fueling my body to get stronger. I want to watch my baby grow, I want to play with her, I want to cherish her childhood because I know I am in “the good ole days” and I want to soak it all in! Happy birthday month to me. Bye bye, post-partum haze!

The rumors are true, I am no longer on any boards, committees or volunteer groups (outside of work). I am on a hiatus and I am totally fine with it. Actually I am more than fine, I am thrilled to have a lack of commitment in a season where I just want to soak up my baby and all her sweet milestones. But before I gush about my lack of commitments and responsibilities let me remind you that I spent the last 20 years of my life apart of at minimum – two organizations leading in some capacity. There was a point in the not-so-distant past that I was the President of three different organizations. PRESIDENT… simultaneously! Without a doubt, I learned so much as I held those important roles and while leadership comes with it’s own amount of stress there is also something special about watching an organization increase in membership, develop a solid structure, and host successful (and FUN) events under your leadership. Each time I left my Presidential role, I passed the torch to someone that I worked with closely and it always felt so good knowing that the group was continuing on in more than capable hands. Although I am still a member of several organizations, it feels nice to just attend like a regular member and enjoy the lack of responsibility. Ahh, bliss!

From Daughters of Norway to SheJumps, I have had the pleasure of holding leadership positions for organizations I could go on and on about for hours. But for now I will just highlight two. Daughters of Norway is an impressive sisterhood that is committed to carrying on the traditions of our motherland, Scandinavia. I am still an active member but it feels good to attend the meetings from the audience these days! SheJumps is all about getting women and girls outdoors. I held numerous events from guiding an Intro Into Snowshoeing to hosting a multi-day class for Wilderness First Aid Training. I loved putting on events that made women feel more confident in their ability to simply enjoy the outdoors and further their desire to explore our beautiful area. It never gets old when you are doing something you are passionate about. However, burnout is a real issue for people that continue to give more than they are truly able. I love that I can still be a part of these organizations without holding a leadership role. Maybe in the future I will again but for now I like that I can refocus on myself and my family.

Honestly, I have been waiting years for this, this freedom. Sorry to anyone reading that may take offense to that. I wasn’t counting down the days to toss out my committee commitments (say that ten times fast). Somewhere in the past year between pregnancy, birth, maternity leave, post partum, a demanding profession, travel, juggling family life, and my “extra” commitments… I realized that I needed to have a season of nothing. A season of just cherishing my little girl, enjoying time with my husband, and figuring out how to prioritize myself. That last part is the key. Figuring out how to re-prioritize myself. I can’t overcomplicate this season with unnecessary extras. I’d lose myself in the process if I did. If I had any extra commitments right now I’d be pouring from an empty cup and that just isn’t fair to anyone, especially me.

As I navigate this new season I seem to be asking others different questions. I want to know what you are passionate about? Are you in a season of volunteering your time or are you figuring out how to re-prioritize yourself (too)?

I genuinely would like to know in the comments below ❤

This is still a post I reference often! People ask about my nails all the time and if they are interested in doing their own at home I always point them to this blog post. Nearly three years later I am still doing my nails the same way and I love how they turn out. Sometimes I will go a week or two between my home manicure… let’s be honest, I don’t have as much time these days with a baby in tow 🙂 Enjoy my at-home gel manicure *updated* post.

One thing I missed when quarantine started was my monthly trips to the nail salon. I got desperate right before my wedding to get my nails done and luckily I had a friend that owned a UV light and a few gel polish colors. A light pink was perfect for my COVID wedding manicure and I loved it so much that I decided to buy my own UV light and starter gel polish kit. Best. Decision. Ever. The set up paid for itself after using it twice! In truth, it costs at least $30-40 per trip to the nail salon for a gel manicure. For my home kit, I paid $60 and got the UV light AND an assortment of gel polish colors. This was indeed an investment that, for me, was worth it!
**Side note: I am the type of person who likes doing my nails. I know that this topic will not apply to everyone (Kendall HATES doing her own nails) but if you enjoy doing your nails and your kid’s nails then this post is for you.

My Gel Manicure Items (updated links 5/26/2023):

UV Light
Beetle Gel Polish Set
Nail Care Kit
Buffer

Prep your nails (clip, file, shape, trim cuticles, lightly buff nail beds, wash hands with water only)

Get gel set ready (Foundation Gel, Color Gel, and Top Coat Gel)

Cure between each coat of polish with UV Light 

*My tips include: pushing back your cuticles or cleaning them up ahead of time, rough up your nail beds by using a fine grain nail file (or buffer) and then clean off the dust with just water and a towel before you do your first foundation coat. This helps the polish attach to your nail better and will reduce the risk of the gel lifting away from the nail too soon.

**Bonus, especially for kids, there is no extra dry time. 60 seconds under the light and your nails are dry!

Viola! Enjoy your cute new nails. I highly recommend watching some youtube tutorials or researching some best practices.

For ALL the women, I have a reminder for you. 

Don’t wait for the perfect time to… wear the special dress, buy yourself the flowers, book the spa day, use the bath bomb you’ve been “saving”, eat the chocolate from France, light the expensive candle, use the fancy dishes, and book the trip. There will never be the right moment. There will never be the right time. Now. Now is the right time and the perfect moment. 

Where is this coming from you may ask. A few months ago, I posted about my godmother and Aunt, Kory. She passed away in February and we have been slowly going through her estate. Throwing away old coupons, photos, magazines, news articles, etc and saving a few special cards, family pictures, and heirloom items. It has been an emotional and also a mind numbing process (mainly for my cousin who is the executor of her will). As I have helped, I’ve had my moments of feeling sad about the items we are tossing, thinking to myself “but she loved that” or “should we keep this” but sadly those items have little to no value to anyone else. 

As we sort through her beloved trinkets, artwork, and more, I have to say, I am proud of her for doing what made her happy and NOT WAITING or caring what others thought. I love that she printed out the pictures from her vacations and savored those memories, the photobooks looked loved and cherished. I am impressed by the artwork she hung throughout her house and how she rotated it out with the seasons. As I looked at her crystal bowls, I remembered many fruit salads and parties where she actually USED them. Her closet brimming full of clothes and jewelry made me smile as I thought of how she coordinated from head to toe and was always so put together. 

Let’s all learn something from Aunt Kory. Even if an item in her home meant nothing to me or anyone else… all that mattered was that it meant something to her. She wore the dress, she planned the trip, she bought the front row tickets to the theater, she wore the diamonds, she ate at the fancy restaurant, she hung the artwork, she bought herself flowers, and she didn’t wait. I smile because I look at her house and I am reminded not to wait. As I was thinking about this one of my favorite bloggers, Elise Joy, posted on Instagram almost verbatim what I was thinking. I laughed out loud at yet another sign to stop making excuses and simply ENJOY life.

With Mother’s Day this Sunday I keep getting asked what I am doing. Almost building it up for my husband to come short no matter what he plans or doesn’t plan for me, haha. Either way, I am excited simply because it’s my first year celebrating as a biological mom. I can’t think of a gift I want more than to just enjoy life and time with my husband, kids, and family. The best gift we can give ourselves is living. And wow, did my Aunt Kory know how to live. When someone goes through my estate someday, will they think the same thing? Will they smile because I did things that brought me joy? What brings you joy? What would be on your list of things to “not wait” for? I encourage you to make the list, do it now, and please don’t wait any longer.

Chicken Pesto Soup

Hungry? Need an easy meal? I got you.

Ingredients:

3 cups of cooked and shredded chicken 
*I use my instant pot and season my chicken with Italian seasoning, salt and pepper to taste. I also use broth instead of water for the cooking process.
4 handfuls of kale or spinach
2 cans of white beans 
*I use great northern beans and butter beans- but any kind of white bean is fine
6 cups of chicken broth
1 cup of pesto 
*Add more or less depending on your taste preference

Instructions:
Cook the chicken in your instant pot and then shred.

Throw the beans, chicken, greens and broth together in a pot over the stove. Leave uncovered and bring to a simmer. Once there, add in your pesto and let it cook for a few minutes. Voila. If desired, serve with your choice of Italian cheese or lemon juice! 

Easy, kid friendly (mostly), and delicious. 

I always enjoy seeing what other accounts I follow are purchasing on Amazon. It’s like a little glimpse into what you are currently obsessing over or what season of life you are in. From my current Amazon order history you’d quickly see I have a baby that is eating, making messes, and we were recently sick with a cold. Also you’d notice I’m in the mood to Spring Clean.

I’m going to share some items I’ve ordered and used recently and a few I have on-the-way. *Note there are no commissions to these links. Someday I will get my act together and maybe even get a storefront with my top recommendations but until then just message below if you were inspired to purchase anything, purely out of curiosity for me!

For Baby:

Bapron Bib: I was on the hunt for a good bib for the baby. I have a silicone catcher bib and a super absorbent towel bit but I kind of wanted something that was in between. A bib that was water resistant and covered her more than the silicone bib did but not as much as the towel bib. Enter in the BapronBaby Waterproof Stain Resistant Bib, which comes in so many cute patterns with matching splash mats to put beneath the high chair and even adult aprons. I have been enjoying my purchases and highly recommend for the quality and function. They are kind of pricey (for a bib) but worth it!

Bath Set: I was just going to buy the whale cover for the faucet in the bathtub but decided that the Skip Hop Moby Baby Bath Essential Set made more sense which comes with a Bath Rinser Bucket, Bath Spout Cover, Bath Kneeler, and Bathtub Elbow Rest . I’ve been kneeling on towels (which is totally fine) but I liked that there was a kneeling mat included along with the elbow rest to go on the edge of the tub. I might as well be comfortable while my baby splashes in the tub.

Nasal Aspirator (aka: Electric Nose Sucker): When your baby is sick with a cold sometimes those bulb nose suckers just don’t cut it and if you’re like me and my husband the Frida Manual Nose Suckers seem to spread germs more than contain them (yuck)! I read the reviews on this Electric Nasal Aspirator and some people rave about it and others comment on the “low” suction power. We will give it a try when we get sick next. Of course I received it when were all feeling better.

For the Home:

O-Cedar Mop: A new mop was a must having a baby that is crawling all over the floors and a small living space means that we walk through the house a lot and the high traffic areas are also the areas that baby girl is crawling around on, with her HANDS on the dirty ground. It didn’t take long for me to vacuum daily but now I want to make sure I am mopping more frequently too. Here is the O-Cedar EasyWring Microfiber Spin Mop that my friend (a house cleaner) suggested and it was super reasonably priced.

Silicone Toilet Brush: I haven’t used this purchase yet but I have heard good things about the silicone toilet scrub brush. The brush with the bristles always grosses me out and I think the silicone will be easier to clean and will last longer than the bristle brush scrubbers. Plus you can mount the holder for this brush to the wall and it is sleek and small. Words I never thought I’d use to describe the aesthetic of a toilet brush, ha!

Underbed Storage Box: Currently I have a few hard totes with lids under my bed. One has extra toiletries and the other has my workout clothes. I want to use the totes for something else and came across these storage bins with a clear top and a zipper, they look perfect! I am so excited to move my stuff over to these underbed storage boxes and use the totes for something else.

There you have it. A few of my latest orders on Amazon.

What have you been ordering lately! I’d love to know, leave us a comment below!

Recently my Aunt (and godmother) passed away. She wasn’t just any ole Aunt, she was a special, generous, traveled, hospitable, and loving Aunt. There are so many things about her that I absolutely loved and only a few things that made it hard to live with her, haha. And I did live with her for two years (Feb 2016 – Feb 2018). I moved in with my Aunt because of grief, she had just lost her husband and a month later she lost her mother (my grandmother). It was a tough time and if I knew anything about grief, it was that the person grieving would feel supported in the moment but what about a month or five months from then. I wanted my presence to be a support to my Aunt after all the initial support faded, so as a single late 20’s/early 30’s bachelorette, I decided to pack up my studio apartment and move into one bedroom at my Aunt’s house. It was a special time that I knew I’d look back on without an ounce of regret. I’ll say it again, she wasn’t just anyone, she was special and fiercely loved by me, and so many.

Her passing comes with mixed emotions. I am both so grateful that she doesn’t have to deal with her inability to communicate and also sad that she isn’t here for me to visit anymore. The lack of communication was tough, especially to someone like my Aunt. It was probably the cruelest thing brain cancer could have done to her besides shorten her years… was to take her ability to carry on a meaningful conversation. Before cancer, my Aunt would tell you in detail what she had for dinner three weeks ago, I joke but it was true 🙂 She loved those silly Sudoku puzzles and would always do the crossword puzzles in the newspaper. Shortly before she was diagnosed with Glioblastoma, she had gone on several trips with tour groups. She was on a trip to Colorado when her illness took a hold of her.

The last time I hung out with my Aunt (before she took that trip) was Labor Day weekend 2021. My husband and I decided to walk down to the beach from my parents house. It’s about half a mile or a little more. She quickly popped up and said she could use the walk and asked to come with us. “Sure!” we said. I remember my husband giving her a hard time about something she had said when I just started dating him years prior. She had said, “oh I’d never date a guy with a beard”. I laughed so hard and loved that Alex was still teasing her about it. She had so many things she was particular about and didn’t mind saying them. Instead of disagreeing I’d just say her name and shake my head and we would both laugh. We laughed about everything.

Oh grief.

So many moments and memories cruise through my mind when I think about her. I think about visiting her and my Uncle in Bothell as a child. Calling her a “good cooker” because I loved a meal she made. She would still quote the ‘good cooker’ phrase even into my adult years as a favorite memory. She would call me “Shari-kins & Shar-bear” and tell me how cute I was when I was little and how my Uncle wanted to freeze me at age 3. I remember shopping with her in Seattle and getting ridiculously spoiled with new clothes for school. She took her role as “godmother” very seriously and I loved that she was “more than an Aunt” to me. She was a Corporate Event Planner by profession and would tell all her friends (with pride) that I followed in her footsteps. When I lived with her she would tell me to invite friends over so she could make us dinner, she was next-level hospitable and had a placemat to match every occasion. Pure class with a huge wardrobe and enough jewelry to fill a boutique all on her own, she kept her favorite outfits even if she would never wear them again. Her home is filled with art and collectibles that have a story attached to each one. What I wouldn’t give to hear her tell me about them again. I still have the last voicemail I received from her on my birthday a year before her diagnosis. I listen to it sometimes. It will be a sad day when it gets deleted.

The last 16 months of her fighting brain cancer have been bittersweet. I found out I was pregnant a few days after she was diagnosed. My heart sank knowing that my baby may never meet her. But she was there to watch my belly grow, attend my baby shower, and hold my tiny two week old baby at her 80th birthday party. My baby girl is her namesake, Koralyn. Even though I know those 16 months were hard for her, I’m so glad she fought. She fought to extend her life and end it on her terms. She passed away at home knowing she was so deeply loved by all of us. That is one wonderful way to go. Peacefully and loved.

Aunt Kory, you are missed.

My children wouldn’t let me sit down to actually write this, so here you go! I wish I could be more articulate, but it’s the end of the week and my head is basically mush. Literal mush. You are all just lucky my hair is washed.

PSA before you watch: Neither staying at home or going to work is harder. IF you are trying to compare them, that’s on you. The grass is never greener and parenting is a freaking trip. A well worth it, beautiful, hard, emotional, and long one.

To the SAHM, I know you can feel so incredibly inadequate. You beat yourself up for not going back to work. You beat yourself up for not having anything of interest to say to your partner at the end of the day. Instead, all you have to offer is your overstimulated and tired self with avocado and snot on your shirt. Fight for yourself. YOU are in there. You are interesting. You are beautiful. You are more than just a mom- you are a woman with all kinds of wonderful things to offer the world. And when someone says that being a mom is your most important job- nod and smile. Sure, it is because it’s lasting. But guess what? Being a human with passions, interests, and something other to say than skidamarink a doo (IFYKYK)- is just as valuable to the world.

I want to start out by saying it’s okay to work. It’s okay. You are a good mom and your child will not bond with you any less if you have an 8-5 Monday through Friday job. They are still your child, they love you, and you will create so many wonderful memories with them. Do not beat yourself up over the fact that you aren’t with them every second of every day. Quit being so hard on yourself. I’m starting with these statements because even if you don’t read the rest of this letter, I just want you to simply know it’s okay to work and you’re a good mom.

Now let’s get into it… the balance of it. The balance of work and home. You thought it was tough before kids and then it gets one hundred times more complicated after you have a child. Hormones and stress levels cause you to feel like a failure at both, I understand. I don’t believe there is such a thing as true balance between motherhood and home-life while also adding in the demands of a job that can sometimes follow you home. To find balance and peace with excessive demands at work and home is unrealistic. Don’t be fooled by the other working moms around you. They cry in the shower sometimes too and it doesn’t make them any less of an awesome mom and badass employee. So when you are trying to find the balance between work and home, rest assured that there is no such thing and what you are doing is good enough.

Working mom, I see you idolizing the stay at home mom content on social media. Me too. The guilt that creeps in as you see moms feeding their baby lunch while you sit in the quiet room at work and pump. Please don’t feel guilty for working or feel like you are missing out on crucial moments with your little one. I want you to know that the relationships you are creating with co-workers and the relationships your baby is creating with their caregivers while they are away from you are important. Your social life matters and sharing your baby with others is a gift to both them and the person (and maybe other kids at daycare) they are building a relationship with. The act of releasing control around yourself and your child is admirable because one day they will be teenagers and you will be forced to let go which is something that you already practiced early on. I’m proud of you because I know how hard it is. Being a SAHM has its benefits, sure, but so does being a working mother.

What are those benefits? You have another place to exercise your skills, you receive recognition at work for your successes, you bring home an additional income to help your family, and so much more. Working momma, it is a gift to be able to have a creative outlet away from home and your company is lucky to have your talents, skills, and abilities.

Remember that you, working momma, are pure dedication. In the morning when you pack every item your baby may possibly need while they are away from you and simultaneously pack your own bags, pumps, snacks, lunch, etc – just wow, you deserve an award for getting out the door without forgetting something, ha! Oh and don’t forget the extra hugs and kisses you give your baby that cause you to be several minutes late to work but are worth every second of reminding them how much you love them. I see you look at pictures of your baby at work and try not to count down the minutes until you are with them again. I see you showing co-workers something new and cute they did but also trying not to be the “annoying” proud mom. Who cares. You are dedicated to your child, they are your world, even if you aren’t with them 24/7.

Lastly momma, you are still a good employee. I know you may forget things in regards to your job from time to time. Mom brain, is real. But just know that the qualities that make you a truly exceptional parent also make you a valuable employee. You deserve to excel at your job, let yourself. Don’t be discouraged by the laundry list you have at home but rather be encouraged that you have a life to come home to that is full to the brim. The stress and overwhelm you may feel in the office all melts away when you cuddle your baby to sleep. Vice versa, let the stress and overwhelm of being a mom melt away when you enter the office and put your skills to work. We all have rough days, however, those hard moments do not define a lifetime.

Working momma, you are a good mom, a dedicated mom, a superstar employee, and a caring coworker. Give yourself some grace when you can’t do it all. Let the time away from your child fuel you to make the moments you do have extra special. Let the time away from your child ignite the other part of your brain. Most of all be proud of yourself for setting the example of hard working mother and also a mother that puts in the work at home too.

Love,

Another Working Mom