This blog has been started so many times. Maybe I am rusty from a few weeks off, maybe I can’t focus correctly due to our political climate, maybe I just need to write-it-out but feel unmotivated… either way I don’t feel like discussing the “new year” nearly two weeks into 2021. I originally titled this “Embracing the New Year.” Hmmmmmm. To be honest, I never expected 2021 to be much different from 2020. We are still in a global pandemic, we are still a divided Country, we are still going through the motions of what work, school, and life looks like in this constantly changing reality. We walk on eggshells around people that aren’t in our immediate friend groups and constantly witness the clashing of opinions on social media.
I am tired.
Are you?
So, in that spirit… let’s talk about something uplifting shall we? Something that you could even try yourself.
Several years ago when I was in life coaching we talked about our “Essence Words.” They were words that my life coach chose based on a task I had to accomplish. I am not going to lie, the task was awkward; I had to call 5 or 6 people closest to me and ask them “When I walk into a room, how do I show up? What do you feel?” To my surprise, the responses were beautiful and sparked a unique conversation with each person I called. My mom said “light and happiness.” My best friend said, “friendship and love,” and a coworker said, “fun and joy.” I had a variety of responses from multiple people. After these phone calls, I cried. I had never really thought about how I made other people feel when I walked into a room. As a recovering people pleaser, I didn’t want to think much about what other people thought about me – but WOW, it was so sweet to hear from my mom, my best friend, my coworkers, and others how I make them feel when I enter a room. Their thoughtful responses will stick with me forever.
If you feel like being brave and having an interesting conversation, I challenge you to ask this question to a few people you trust to give you an uplifting response. Don’t ask this to your uncle who is always in a bad mood or your cousin that is always competing with you… ask people who know you, love you, and appreciate you. I guarantee you will be encouraged by their responses.
If there is anything I learned from 2020, it is that you should never take for granted your time with loved ones. Tell them how much you love them, send a thoughtful gift or card, and actually make the phone call. 2020 wasn’t an easy year and 2021 is shaping up to be similar. You need to hear the goodness you bring into the lives of others, just as much as they need to hear it too.
Going back to the task my life coach gave me- based on the responses from the 5-6 people, my life coach came up with my “Essence Words.” JOY, CONNECTION, RADIANT, VISION, POWER. I remember when she listed off these words, I felt a magnetic reaction to each of them.
JOY – My happiness is something I am known for (a part of my personality type). I remember writing my first essay in elementary school and my teacher said I had a very positive tone in my writing, she instructed me that it was a gift and to never lose it.
CONNECTION – I love meeting people and networking. At the time, this word described part of my social life perfectly! It was, and is, spot on. My desire to have meaningful connections is something that inspired me to be a Communication major and study relationships.
RADIANT – What a beautiful word to describe light and brightness. I think of when people tell new moms that they look radiant, glowing, pretty… I think RADIANT is my favorite essence word.
VISION – I function extremely well when I have a clear direction, as do most people. This word is something I strive to attain, to dream, to keep my goals, focus, and direction always in view.
POWER – I am a natural leader who has taken leadership roles in many groups and organizations. As a woman, this word embodies empowerment and success – what an inspiration I can be to myself by simply leaning into my own power.
These words were not dreamt up, they were given to me through many tasks I had to complete in life coaching including the awkwardly empowering phone calls I had to make to family and friends. If I can give you any gift in 2021- it is to ask you to allow people to tell you what makes you so wonderful. I know it is tempting to brush off the compliments and stay humble but I challenge you to listen and absorb them. You will owe them nothing in return but a simple thank you. So ask them, “ What shows up when I do? What do you feel when I enter a room?”
Nothing from the craziness of 2020 or the beginning of 2021 can take away the unique and amazing qualities that make you, YOU!
The Salty Exchange 