I think it is safe to say that at the beginning of 2020 we all had very different expectations, hopes, dreams, and ideas about what the year would hold for us. And then it was all shot to sh^*. Suddenly life became about simply staying alive, having toilet paper, and enjoying life to the fullest with very little movement… literally. In the midst of this chaos, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning a few months back. I rarely have nightmares but this particular early morning had dealt me a doozy of a dream. I woke up and cried. I cried for all of our worries, our family, our safety, our sanity, and for a general feeling of despair. My husband held me and did his best to soothe me. And, he did. He has this magnificent way of calming me; of steadying me. My husband always tends to say what people need to hear. After my cry, I still felt overwhelmingly worried about our current state of affairs BUT, I also felt something new. I felt thankful.
In that moment I felt thankful for the little bit I do have in my life. This is the year that I actually began to like myself again; to have confidence again. I have the love of a wonderful man, the sweetest daughter, and a devoted dog. Everything I truly need can fit on our bed. This year has made me thankful for the life that we lead in all of the small ways. Our lives and our family are FAR from perfect. We have struggles, we have worries, and we have fears. The past two years have really tested us as a family. And yet, here I am- thankful for it all.
2020 was the year of empathy for me. So much has happened… We here at The Salty Exchange believe in equality. Our hearts literally broke as we continued to see Black life after Black life taken by those who are supposed to protect us. Shari and I felt a deep sense of hopelessness and have tried to figure out what we could possibly do to help make sure the police forces of our country make good and necessary changes to do their jobs better (I personally think it comes down to leadership) and what we could possibly do to help our brothers and sisters in humanity. We still don’t know what the answer is. But what Shari and I did decide to do is to get educated. We have educated ourselves through reading, listening, and asking questions when we have them. We discuss our questions, the issues, and our ideas weekly. For this, I am thankful. I have become less of a passive citizen. I am still figuring it all out and hope to only get better at being an ally to all of those who feel unseen, unimportant, and discriminated against. I am thankful that I can still learn.
This was also the year of really stepping up to support small business. Vermont rallied during this pandemic. Local businesses were, of course, affected. Our community tried its best to shop local, eat local, donate to the food bank, shelter our most vulnerable populations, and follow the guidelines set in motion by our state leadership. Overall, we did a decent job. We want to protect ourselves, our friends, and yes, our economy. Sometimes that doesn’t just mean shopping locally or donating locally but it means getting informed about the different industries and their struggles. It was eye opening. It was eye opening to see people of all different backgrounds- rich or poor, average, working, unemployed, etc. try to help make a difference wherever they could. I am thankful for that. I am thankful to have experienced that. I am proud to call Vermont “home” now.
And finally, I am thankful for technology. FaceTime, WhatsApp, Zoom, etc. I have some great memories of using these platforms to communicate with friends and family. Before my dad came out to Vermont in September (don’t worry, we all quarantined and got tested before mingling), we would FaceTime him EVERY day at 8 am PST. I am so grateful he is here until after the holidays. Rosemary is getting so much grampy time and he isn’t alone anymore. He has a pod with his daughters. I am thankful my sister lives .2 miles away and that I had her close during all of this madness. Even though she lives close, we still video chat multiple times a week. I am thankful that WhatsApp has allowed me to have wine nights with my girlfriend, Paulina, who lives in Spain. It’s been a sanity saving grace. Creating The Salty Exchange with Shari has been one of the funnest parts of this year for me. I am thankful for Shari. Shari is the kind of friend you can talk to about anything and because of FaceTime, I have been privileged enough to do just that with her.
Wherever you find yourself this Thanksgiving, please stay safe. Follow the damn rules. If we don’t protect ourselves responsibly, some of this 2020 madness will never end. So- suck it up. Find what you are thankful for in the smallest of places because when everything else is stripped away- that’s what matters. That’s what Thursday should be about.
The Salty Exchange 