Shari: Redefine Your Busy

The redefinition of a word: a superpower you may never know you had. 

Recently I went on a walk with a friend. We were talking about motherhood and babies. She, a new mom herself, made a comment in passing about how “over-committed” I am and how that would have to change if I were to have a newborn.  

I laughed it off because she clearly doesn’t know how many responsibilities and leadership roles I have tapered off over the past two years and how slowed down my life has felt since the beginning of 2020 (even pre-Covid) but, nonetheless, her words stung.  I had to stop and utilize a skill I learned several years ago in my life coaching group.

During one of my life coaching meetings I came to the group super upset.  Multiple people that day had referred to me as being “too busy,” my life “so exhausting,” and even asked me “how do you have friends with a schedule like that,” etc.  It wasn’t the words that held the weight but all the nonverbal cues (ahem, Communication Major over here) like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language told me these people clearly disapproved of my professional and social schedule. Why did it matter to them anyway? My life coach smiled and said, “instead of letting the word busy hold a negative meaning, what if you could change it? What if the word busy meant that you are putting your time and effort into activities, organizations, and people that you love? What if busy was a compliment?”

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been letting other people’s negative connotation to the word busy upset me for far too long. It was time I realized that all my effort in leading a local young professional group, learning more about my Scandinavian heritage, and encouraging women and girls to get outside was serving me in all the most fulfilling ways. I didn’t think of myself as overcommitted; I was proud of my commitments. I chose each of them. I said “yes” when most would say “no.” I chose to push myself professionally and personally. I chose to get outside my comfort zone and make my community better. I was busy but in the BEST way possible.  

After that life coaching session, I felt empowered with my new definition of the word. It seems silly that we let a word hold so much meaning when we have the power to change our perspective- a superpower each of us possesses and can use at any moment!

The next time someone says something that feels deflating to you, rude, or insensitive, I challenge you to stop and think of ways that word can be redefined to better represent it’s presence in your life. For example, if your thoughts around the word healthy are negative, redefine what healthy means to you.  Go use that superpower!
**AND let me know what word you have redefined for yourself.